GAP - Jean-Baptiste Castel
A6 Book
Dec. 2016
bleachlists
Ulquiorra, Grimmjow, Candice, and Bazz-B argue about who should get to fight Ichigo first
As requested by anon. :)
Grimmjow: As much as I hate short fights, I gotta say - this is gonna be one short fight!
Grimmjow: Because obviously I’m the guy who gets to fight Kurosaki first!
Grimmjow: I called dibs!
Grimmjow: And dibs….are sacred.
Ulquiorra: …I actually saw Kurosaki Ichigo first, you know.
Grimmjow: Yeah, and you decided NOT to fight him!
Grimmjow: Which is the opposite of callings dibs.
Grimmjow: So again, dibs are mine.
Candice: Uh, didn’t you fight Kurosaki already?
Bazz-B: Three times?
Candice: Don’t butt in, Bazz-B! I was about to say that!
Candice: You fought him THREE TIMES!
Candice: I think you had your “dibs” already!
Grimmjow: Dibs don’t go away until the fight is finished!
Candice: And what? You being beaten to a pulp doesn’t count as finished?
Grimmjow: Not while one of us is still alive!
Candice: Oh, please.
Candice: You had your shot. Shots, I mean. All THREE of them.
Candice: I’m the one who has new dibs!
Candice: ‘Cause I was the first Quincy to say I was gonna kill that guy!
Bazz-B: Until I stole the fight from you, that is!
Candice: YOU STABBING ME IN THE BACK LIKE A GIANT DICK DOES NOT GIVE YOU DIBS
Bazz-B: I’m pretty sure it does!
Grimmjow: Dude…you stole her prey?
Bazz-B: What of it?
Grimmjow: Not cool, man. Not cool.
Candice: Glad to see that you understand sense, hollow!
Candice: What about you, other hollow? You with me too?
Ulquiorra: …
Ulquiorra: I’m dead.
Ulquiorra: To be honest, I am not really sure why I am here.
Bazz-B: What kind of attitude is that??? You should never give up! Never!
Ulquiorra: Are you…rooting for me?
Bazz-B: You may be dead, but you’re talking now! Come on! Tell us why you should fight!
Ulquiorra: Well…Kurosaki Ichigo did promise that he would fight me.
Ulquiorra: After cutting off his own arm and leg, no less.
Ulquiorra: I doubt that he promised to fight any of you.
Grimmjow: He promised to fight ME!
Ulquiorra: I meant a promise that had not already be fulfilled.
Bazz-B: Oooooh, burn!
Bazz-B: Looks like you’re still in the running, teardrop hollow!
Ulquiorra: …seriously why are you rooting for me?
Bazz-B: Just can’t stand to see a guy give up, that’s all!
Candice: WOULD YOU STOP BONDING WITH THE ENEMY ALREADY??
Candice: The hollows are old news! They fought Kurosaki Ichigo already! This is between you and me, Bazz-B!
Bazz-B: What’s that? You think that once someone has already fought Kurosaki, then their dibs are gone? Is that what you think, hmmmm?
Candice: Wait -
Bazz-B: ‘Cause I seem to recall that you ALREADY got to fight him, Candice!
Candice: THAT DOESN’T COUNT BECAUSE YOU INTERRUPTED!
Bazz-B: So what? Ulquiorra’s fight got interrupted by death! Grimmjow’s got interrupted by him losing horribly!
Grimmjow: Hey, it wasn’t a horrible loss!
Bazz-B: You wanna give them dibs back?
Bazz-B: Or do you wanna admit that there’s only ONE guy who hasn’t got to fight Kurosaki yet, and that’s ME!
Bazz-B: I’d say it’s my turn!
Grimmjow: Uh, aren’t you on Kurosaki’s side now?
Bazz-B: Aren’t YOU?
Grimmjow: I specifically said I wasn’t!!!!
Bazz-B: So what? At least I’m not literally fighting beside him right now!
Grimmjow: I RAN AHEAD
Bazz-B: SO DID I
Grimmjow: I WAS HERE FIRST
Bazz-B: I’M THE NEW COOL GUY SO JUST DEAL WITH IT
Candice: …
Candice: Testosterone’s getting a little thick in here.
Ulquiorra: You and I are dead. We don’t have to stick around, you know.
Candice: Hey, good point! Want to go get some coffee or something while these idiots yell at each other?
Ulquiorra: That sounds nice.
Bazz-B & Grimmjow: [wordless shouting]